Well it's been a while since i blogged on my walk with God, because my days outside the church door has became a lot more bleak than usual. Here's the story...
For the past few weeks, I listened to Linkin Park rarely but moved on to more outrageous music like Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, Metallica, Drowning Pool, Black Sabbath and Slipknot... All these semi-demonic bands specialising in Heavy Metal. Got glued to it, if I listened to christian songs, my anger and frustration will turn into peace and smiles but if I listened to Heavy Metal, my anger will boil and the day is full of anger... It's okay to listen to heavy metal but it's better not to. The least I can do is limit my listening of circular music and listen to more Hillsong, Planetshakers or Chris Tomlin. It's shameful that the only songs I can play on guitar are all circular music...
My faith has also been cut off... I haven't read the bible for a couple of months, which is very pathetic as I finished reading Exodus is a day... Ironic isn't it? I've also been plagued by bad luck... Been scolded for small mistakes and have others doing big mistakes getting away, this makes me pissed... Yea, there's this case where I've been bullied by a *&R$^ racist teacher for a small mistake I shouldn't be punished for... All that humiliation, If I were a regular guy, I'd kill him the most cruel way possible and laugh at his pain... That moment of anger still burns, the look on that mad-ass's face makes me wanna rip his eyeballs off... But that's not how civilized people do things rite? I guess the Devil is trying to make us feel like junk but no matter how many racist teachers scold me for nothing, I can't go crazy and make things more f**ked up, I guess I just try to calm down with some noodles and coke...
Studies also makes my life more and more rotten... But I always enjoy English. Which explains why I got 88% for it... Yeap, top of the class but my mathematics, that's another story... My Science was only a scratch away from A, 76%....
Well at least I still have my football buddies and HG to cheer me up...
Man, Life's been really messed up lately, Please help me... Any advice will help! Please...
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